Well I'm writing this on Valentine's Day so close enough.After I played through DmC I was still in a beat 'em up mood so I decided to finally pick up bayonetta after years of hearing how this is the greatest beat em up game in existance....and I still think Devil may cry 3 is better,And DmC,And What I recall of god of war 2.....Yeah I think this game is a touch overrated to be honest.
Now don't misunderstand me I think the game is quite good it's just not nearly as great as most people think at least in my opinion.But I'm gonna give you a short version of the review up front.When you beat the game one of the things you get is this video
I think this video sums up alot of my feelings perfectly.While I usually start with the story I have a reason to get to that later but first I'll start with something about this game I do love and that's the soundtrack
I really don't think I need to say much if you watched that video.This games soundtrack is glorious....when it wants to be.Some tracks are okay,some are forgettable,but some songs like let's dance boys,or the fly me to the moon cover,or some of the boss themes are downright amazing.Ranging from the jazzy and energetic themes like the aforementioned let's dance boys to the latin chorus beauty of the 4 elemental angels fights.This game does soundtrack perfectly....again in places.The basic combat theme goes from a fly me to the moon cover that I both love and hate.(it's catchy but I can't help thinking frank sinatra is spinning like a blender right now.) And a track that....is both boring and really unfitting for a combat theme.That combined with a few very forgettable tracks here and there and it's a mixed bag with some amazing tracks mixed in.
Oh also I think one of the tracks is a remix of a song from afterburner....random but alright.
And then we have the gameplay.This is a very back and forth thing for me.It's solid and pretty good but nothing really special to me.It does have uniqueness to it though.Being able to essentially equip two pyhsical weapons at once.One in the hands and one on the legs.This is a pretty cool concept and it does work I have to admit but the other gimmick of the game always rubbed me the wrong way.Instead of guarding attacks you dodge them and dodging at the last second gives you a few seconds of slo mo time.You need to get good at doing this cause otherwise you are FUCKED!!
Not what I meant.....I'll get to that in a minute though....er also not what I.....You know what nevermind.
If you can't dodge enemies attacks constantly you will die,and die and die again because enemies hit like 18 wheelers with jet engines.This game can be brutal unless you get real good at dodging real fast.Some people may find it insanely easy but I've seen people,friends of me sell the game because the dodge system can at times be complete horse crap.If you get caught in a combo as well you can't dodge out of it as far as I know and it gets to the point of pretty decent rage considering how many ememies can be attacking you at once.So really your enjoyment of this game will be determined by how well you can dodge so if you know a friend who has it or if there is a demo out there for this game try it before you get it cause this is where the polarity split happens.
So music is split,as is gameplay depending,how's the story and characters....A little worse then split.The only character who is even memorable is bayonetta.And even then only when she's not just spewing innuendoes....again I'll get to that.She's pretty clever,funny and even charming when she wants to be but again only when she's not spewing constant sex jokes.Her rival,love interest and a little girl she finds....I have trouble recalling their names at times so yeah.Sans the main the characters are forgettable.
So what about the story?.....That's a really good question cause I have no fucking clue what just happened.Seriously they throw a crap ton of exposition at the beginning and then throw some absolutly rediculous scenes after and it just distracts you and never ever gets you back at any point in the game.The only real plot point I was following was who the little girl turned out to be and that ended in one of the most random twists ever and I do not mean that in a good way.
The graphics are quite good.Everything looks quite nice and nothing really looks off sans one or two character models but even then not terrible just a little off.but what do the graphics show off?.....See bayonetta's ass earlier for details.Yeah this game has a lot of fanservice in it.it wasn't quite as bad as I was expecting but it was a decent part of the game.but here's where the game's tone comes in.This game has a tone that says it's very over the top and very cartoonish in alot of elements.The sheer amount of references should give you a hint there.But between that,the fanservice,the moves she can do in combat and everything is so over the top but then the story kind of messes that up.
While again I'm not sure what the plot even is it's does in such a way that I think it's meant to be taken seriously and that really does not jive with the over the top style.It's the biggest problem with the game cause at least the combat could be practiced and you could learn to deal with the dodging mechanic.But mood whiplash and expecting to a not serious game serious all of a sudden is just not a good idea.
So let's take a look at what we have here.A game with good graphics.A decent soundtrack with some very stand out songs that elevate it to awesome.Good gameplay with a gimmick that can really mess some people up even if it can be practiced to fix it and a very confused story and tone.This game is the definition of mixed bag.When it's good it's great but when it's bad it's very confusing.The game is probably around 20 dollars now and for that price i'd say give it a shot definatly especially considering when people do like it they love it.Like I said I'll stick with Devil may cry 3 thank you very much.
By the way there is one line bayonetta says
"There are two things I hate.Crying children and cockroaches.I guess that would make a young crying cockroach the worst thing ever"
Anyone else get a Doctor vibe from that line?